Def Cat 5

I've decided to establish a personal color-coded threat-level system, something along the lines of the old (?) DEFCON scheme, or the U.S. Dept. of Homeland Security's patented Rainbow of Terrorism.

This is partly driven by the past drill weekend, during which one of our officers told us that we'd officially thrown last month's plan out the proverbial side window, and were now driving on at a fast rate of march, wearing sunglasses, with fewer facts and new assumptions. Some of the most basic of those assumptions, as he put it, "at one point, changed three times in 20 minutes."

What resulted, at least for a good portion of our unit's time together, could be accurately likened to the professional herding of cats. Based upon this experience, I have decided to make this the baseline and foundation of Sherpa's Pyramid of Military Cat-astrophe. In ascending order of combined chaos, difficulty, and adversity, I propose the following cat-egories:

• CAT 5: Herding cats.
• CAT 4: Herding cats by committee.
• CAT 3: Herding cats into a swimming pool, by committee.
• CAT 2: Herding cats into an electrified swimming pool, by committee.
• CAT 1: Herding cats into an electrified swimming pool. By a committee. Using only PowerPoint slides. While blindfolded.

I can haz deployment? You betcha!