The Crew Access Units (CAU, pronounced "cow") that network into the Command Post Platform (C.P.P.) vehicles I mentioned yesterday are touch-screen machines that sit on our desks in the Tactical Operations Center (TOC, pronounced "talk"). They feature noise-cancelling headphones, through which one can listen to various radio networks, phone conversations, and intercom chatter. Using a CAU, you can call people on a radio that's physically located many tents away from you. You can call people on the phone. You can even text-message them, albeit using an ungainly and agonizingly slow user-interface.
Hey, kids--could you show Sherpa how 2 abbreviate "incoming artillery" on this here ding-dang iPhone contraption?
Since we live here in hog heaven and cow county, Iowa, and since our unit patch is a red bull, I found myself incapable of fighting the urge to udder every bovine pun I could come up with during CAU training:
- "We'll be here until the CAUs come home."
- "Hey, what's spooking the CAUs?"
- "Turn it up! We need more CAU-bell!"
- With apologies to Sandra Boynton, "did I mention they're CAUs?"
"CAU-tipping."
How to key in 'Incomming' - 'OOOFFFFFFFFFFFFk'
ReplyDeleteHow about, 'The CU had better keep her head down when the Red Bull is around.'
The tech shit has come so far since my days as a grunt in the late 1970's.
ReplyDeleteI had to hump a PRC 77...the "encryption" device was about 30 pounds and had to be set by hand.
I sensed the "CAU-tipping" from the first acronym. Weird. And funny.
ReplyDeleteSomebody in SherpaLand STOP ME!!!!
ReplyDeleteBut by the grace of Dr. Seuss, I cannot resist asking...
Have you ever seen a PURPLE CAU???
AUCH!
Oooh those puns are Offal!!
ReplyDeletePax
[now having a strange desire to watch the movie "Twister"
Jo: [cow flies by in the storm] Cow.
[cow flies by in the storm]
Jo: 'Nother cow.
Bill: Actually I think that was the same one.]
Wow! So much lovin' for the punnin'. I have to wonder, though, whether all this punnery is CAUs ... or effect?
ReplyDelete@ Coffeypot: Another potential Red Bull T-shirt slogan!
@ CI-Roller Dude: Right with you on the PRC-77, brother. But only the guy humping the M-60 got credit for taking on more than his fair share, am I right?
@ Everaltered: You know me too well.
@ KKruse: Hau abaut: "Hau Nau Braun CAU?"
@ Paxford: After some rumination (subtle, no?), I am totally adding "offal" to my ammo box of bovine puns!
'Nother CAU ...
Gotta go. Someone just found an old LP of the CAUsills. The music is bovine.
ReplyDelete