Best. Army Training. Ever.

I don't know what exactly trainer Timothy Baigent did to get where he got, traveling the country and teaching people a practical mix of cultural awareness and interpersonal communications skills. And I don't know how he can do it with such high energy, hour after hour, day after day. I can honestly say, however, that in about three hours at Camp Ripley, Minn., he gave us Red Bull soldiers some of the most useful and most memorable Army training that I can personally remember in my more-than-20-years in uniform.

Bottom-line up front, with a little hint of the A-Team intro: "If you are in an organization that needs cultural awareness or interpersonal communications skills, and if you can find him, hire Timothy Baigent."

Taking notes was a little like being a court stenographer at a Robin Williams concert. I'm really not going to be able to do it justice, but here are some snippets to give you an idea of the topics and tips discussed:

Homosexuality in Islamic cultures. "'Man-love Thursday,' does it exist? Yes. Is it on Thursday? No. It's everyday, and twice on Thursdays." [...] "You are going to see some crazy stuff. Be mature enough to counter your emotions. Don't fly off the handle. Realize that other people are different than you."

Don't over-promise. In fact, don't promise at all. "Don't make promises--use 'Inshallah' to your advantage! If you promise something, and you don't deliver, that's your fault. If you say, as the Afghans do--'God willing'--then, if something doesn't happen, it's between the other guy and his God."

Don't make jokes--jokes don't translate. "If you say, 'My kids are furry and have tails,' Afghans will not understand that you are talking about your dogs. Not only that, they will think that you have just compared their kids with dogs, and they will take offense." (Dogs are not highly regarded in Afghanistan.)

Avoid casual blasphemy. "Gid rid of these phrases: 'Oh my God,' 'Jesus Christ,' 'God damn it.' In parts of Islam, it is Jesus Christ who comes to bring judgment. You can F-bomb to your heart's content, but end the religious stuff now."

Don't expect things to run on time. Ever. "In this country, we're time sensitive. In the military, we're time sensitive on crack." Afghans, on the other hand, may not ever get to work on time because everything happens according to God's will, even traffic jams.

Don't expect Western life-experiences to translate. "Tell people in Afghanistan that you're a stay-at-home Dad and that your wife is the one who works, and see how well that works for you. Relationship over--you're a loser."

Use the acronym "C.A.R.E." to connect with people: "Concern, Acknowledge, Respect, and Empathize." By connecting with others, soldiers can build trust across gaps in language and culture. If someone trusts you, maybe they'll tell you about the bomb in the road. Maybe they'll tell you where the bad guys are. "I don't care if you do all this [communications] stuff naturally. I care that you do this stuff when the crap hits the fan, so that you can save the lives of people."

I've overheard soldiers tell their officers that the officers really missed out on some good training. I've witnessed solders applying Baigent's training tips during subsequent events, including discussions after a special screening of the documentary Restrepo. A lot of times, so-called "must have" training ends up to be a stack of PowerPoint slides go in one glazed eye and out the other end.

Not this one. This one stuck.