It's a Small War, After All

The following piece of goofiness is inspired by a today's news that the Walt Disney Co. is looking to hire 1,000 military veterans. Apparently, the Mouse needs a few, good Combat Imagineers to update its theme park rides with a Global War on Terror flavor.

Here are some of the coming attractions we hope to see. Click-through to read about the original rides:

• Mr. Toad's Wild MRAP Ride

• The Three Cups of Mad Tea Party

• The Hall of Commanders-in-Chief

• NORAD Space Mountain

• EPCOT-TOC: The Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow's Tactical Operations Center

• The Swiss Family Combat Outpost

• Big Hindu Mountain logistics supply train

• Casey Junior's Jingle Trucks

• "If You Had Wings," sponsored by Lockheed Martin, manufacturers of the F-35

• The Country Bear Loya Jirga Jamboree

• Mickey's Soundsational Schock-and-Awe Parade

• 20,000 Leagues Under the AirSea Battle

• Mike Fink's littoral combat ships

• Tomorrowland Drones

• The Carousel of Doctrine

• It's a Small War