From the Battle Desk: Division Warfighter Haiku

For illustration purposes, Army Tactical Operations Center personnel conduct network integration exercise at White Sands Missile Range, N.M. PHOTO: U.S. Army

In an event billed in news reports as "The largest Warfighter exercise is Army history (based on number of training audiences)," commanders and staffs of 34th Infantry "Red Bull" Division (34th Inf. Div.) and 10 brigades nationwide have converged on the Mission Training Complex at scenic Fort Leavenworth, Kansas.

Think of it as The Mother of All "Call of Duty" games, fought via a system of systems, and by a committee of committees. More than 2,000 citizen-soldiers are participating. That's a lot of bandwidth ... and M.R.E. pizza.

According to an Army news release about similar exercise last month, involving Texas' 36th Inf "Arrowhead" Div.: "Over 50 acres of Fort Leavenworth are dedicated to supporting the specialized training environment where fiction and reality go head-to-head. [...] While these scenarios are computer-driven, they offer a level of interaction that test commanders’ and senior leaders’ critical decision-making skills and offer a broader understanding to staff members."

In other words, there are lots of moving parts, bells and whistles, and machines that go "ping."

Given this exercise in command and controlled chaos, I humbly offer an exercise of my own: some simple reflections on such training activities, written as haiku:

1.
Back to force-on-force,
wars like grandpa used to fight.
Europe or Asia?

2.
How many of you
are from out of town? So much
for virtual war.

3.
Trash-talk in the TOC:
"I've got your SIGACT right here—
come and get it, Noob!"

4.

Artillery guys,
who can deliver pizza
on time, on target?

5.
"This is the Help Desk.
Your call's important to us.
Please leave a message."

6.
Keep workstations clean.
The only vermin in here
should be TOC-roaches.

7.
A.A.R. bullet:
We need more comfortable chairs
because ... war is hell.

8.
Don't be a hero—
exercise sleep management.
Battle-Caps need naps.

9.
Let me get this straight:
We can plan large air-assaults,
but fear D.T.S.?! 

For more such amusing (?) musings—albeit at a smaller-unit scale—make sure to check out "your squad leader writes haiku" in the current issue of The Pass In Review.