04 June 2014

Is this a Dude Ranch, or a Forward Operating Base?

Back in 2012, I wrote a post comparing and contrasting "Summer Camp"—what old citizen-soldiers in the National Guard still jokingly call annual military training—with "summer camping."

Recently, the Sherpa clan rounded up the extended family for a week's vacation in southeastern Arizona. Soon after getting boots on ground—faster than you can say "Huachuca"—I began to notice potential comparisons between daily life on a Dude Ranch, and that of living on a Forward Operating Base ("FOB") downrange.

In other words, I felt right at home.

Here are a few of my notes:

*****

LOCAL EATERIES
  • If you are eating regularly in a "chow hall," you are on a Dude Ranch.
  • If you are eating regularly in a "dining facility," you are on a FOB.
*****

INDIGINOUS FAUNA
  • If you are on constant lookout for rattlesnakes, you are on a Dude Ranch.
  • If you are on constant lookout for camel spiders, you are on a FOB.
*****

REQUIRED HEAD GEAR
  • If you observe people who are playing cowboy wearing white Stetsons, you are on a Dude Ranch.
  • If you observe people who are playing cowboy wearing black Stetsons, you are on a FOB.
*****

LITTLE PINK HOUSES
  • If you are living in a pink building and shooting at tin cans, you are on a Dude Ranch.
  • If you are working in a pink building and living in a tin can while other people shoot at you, you are on a FOB.
*****

BARREL ROLES
  • If "clearing barrel" means executing a successful maneuver on horseback, you are on a Dude Ranch.
  • If "clearing barrel" means a safety device into which you pull a trigger, you are on a FOB.
  • Bonus tip: If "Trigger" is your horse, you are on a Dude Range.
*****

WATER POINTS
  • If drinking water is plentifully supplied in plastic bottles, you could be on either a Dude Ranch or a FOB ...
  • If the plastic bottles are re-supplied daily by Housekeeping to your room's refrigerator, you are on a Dude Ranch.
  • If the plastic bottles are stored in bulk and located under a plywood lean-to near a corner of your building's exterior, you are on a FOB.
  • Bonus tip: If there is an ice machine where those bulk plastic water bottles would be located on a FOB, you are on a Dude Ranch.
*****

FRIENDLY SKIES
  • If there are A-10s flying overhead, you could be on either a Dude Ranch or a FOB ...
  • If the A-10s sound friendly and outgoing, you are on a Dude Ranch.
  • If the A-10s sound angry, you are on a FOB.

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